Closure kinda hits my heart a lot. It takes me back to my life in Brisbane where i thought i had my life at its worst, but really I was only just scratching the surface. I had my first proper relationship, problems with family, got kicked out of my house from my landlord on multiple occasions, i felt like this was rock bottom, sadly it was only the beginning of what i didn't want to live through.

Hope To Peace

Closure was about the moment in my life where I hit rock bottom. I was moving from house to house, sleeping on friends couches while i was looking for a place to rent because for some reason landlords didn’t like me, I was knee deep in a toxic relationship with my ex girlfriend and i had problems with my family. I could honestly list more but you can find the rest when you listen to my music.

So yeah, nothing was looking positive around then. During all of this, i wasn’t just hurting and getting depressed as each BAD situation piled up, but i was confused as to why it was happening to me. Being the 17 year old boy that i was, i had no idea and i refused to believe any positive explanation that people would try and tell me because that’s just who i was. Now 3 years has passed and I’m slightly matured, i can sort of make clarity about what my situation was teaching me back then.

When i said: 

I remember praying up to God and begging, If he could send me something to help my healing, But he didn’t, Now I’ve got this pain, That drills into fucking head, Every single day

Hope To Peace - Closure
That was the real confused and young me speaking. You can see how I’m pinning my blame onto others because i didn’t know how to cope with my pain, so therefore i turned it into anger and hate and started reflecting it in my relationships with friends and partners. That’s how it goes, all types of emotions can lead you anywhere and sometimes it leads you to where you shouldn’t go.  

Fear > Decision > Hurt > Pain > Sadness > Confusion > Anger > Blame > Hate > Depression > Isolation > Careless > Numbness

This is the exact path of emotions that i took whenever life started to tip for me and it’s generally how it goes. I could’ve stopped at any one of these points during my crisis, but i didn’t, and as a result I’ve probably missed out on some things that would’ve helped build me and my life. Instead, I let myself spiral all the way down to being in a numb sedative state of living with no color or happiness.

So that’s what Closure really gets into. Being at rock bottom, helpless, and with no clue as to how you can fix emotional scars.

This track was orignally meant to be a collaboration with my friend Christian who is an aspiring Singer/Songwriter/Rapper based in Victoria. Here is his view on this track:

To me closure means early stages of acceptance of mental health
Still understanding that mental health is a big part of my life and it still affects me and will affect me for a while but I’m starting to understand it and accept it
Yes it hurts
Yes the pain might be too real sometimes but it’s okay cause I know I’m stronger than that and will accept it eventually.

I hope you’s enjoyed this blog article, it’ll be one of many! If you would like to listen to the album, you can also preview it below!!
– J
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